We don’t remember days, we remember moments
It’s always a delightful moment to see the smile on a patient’s face, when they conquer breast cancer.
Just got a very interesting message from a patient of mine:
Should I call it sexual harassment ? Whenever I tell people I have breast cancer👙 they look at my breasts and keep guessing which one 🤔
While I do not bother to look at others kidney, prostate or rectum.
These warriors are already battling this dreaded illness and they need our full support but the society just makes them more conscious of their disease.
Would love to know your views regarding this.
Breast cancer treatment is a long drawn battle for the patient and her family and it is always a joyous moment when they finish their breast cancer treatment.
This special day when they finish their treatment, marks an important phase, when they transition from being a patient to a cancer conqueror/ survivor. In India, despite so many myths surrounding cancer treatment, it is good to see some ladies determined to fight the disease despite all odds. Hats off to their fighting spirit!!
Western statistics reveal that nearly seven out of ten marriages touched by breast cancer do not survive and ultimately lead to divorce. With the incidence of breast cancer increasing in young Indian women, this problem will soon be evident here as well. In fact, during my tenure in Bangalore, I did come across a few patients who were deserted by their families after their diagnosis of Breast Cancer.
Although there is no magic formula for a couple to weather this difficult period, but some of these points can help husbands support their wives during their Breast Cancer treatment.
In a marriage or any intimate relationship, silence is not golden. The strong silent type need not apply for the position of husband, lover, best friend, confidante and supporter of a woman with breast cancer. Your bride, your wife, needs and wants to hear from you. Actions may speak louder than words, and you may take all the right actions, but speaking words brings comfort, reassurance and knowledge of your inner feelings. She cannot read your mind. Being there for her is more than physical or economic security. Words have meaning. And the three most important words in the English language at this time, at this moment, when together you are facing her mortality, are: “I love you.”
It is not easy for a lady to deal with the diagnosis of breast cancer. Often it has been seen in India that husbands and family members make clinical and personal decisions on their behalf. Although these ladies appreciate some of the decisions but they would love to be part of others, which involve their future.
A simple example is deciding between a mastectomy & breast conservation surgery. Family members err towards the side of mastectomy but in reality a lot of young patients actually want breast conservation surgery. It always helps to consult them in private and then take a collective decision.
It is not what you do when you accompany her to treatment, but rather the act itself that speaks volumes to her. It also gives you some sense of empowerment. You are more than a helpless spectator cursing the damned disease. You have joined the battle.
Funny, it does. There’s even a study to prove it, by psychologist Sharon Manne of the Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia. Couples who laughed at cancer coped better with the stress of treatment. We know that the act of laughing is itself healing. It makes us feel better and helps us get better.
Treatment can be grueling and tiring, but you both need to live your life as fully as possible. Continue to enjoy what you enjoy individually and as a couple, particularly the latter. Don’t let cancer put an end to your personal and social life.
If you follow these simple steps, you can also become a Proud Husband of a Breast Cancer Survivor
Consultant, Breast Oncosurgeon
W Pratiksha Hospital